his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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