your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
