hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
The adults are the big ones right?
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