i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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