Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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