already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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