i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
