hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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