i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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