I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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