Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It's shark week go big or go home
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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