So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I wannas sexs uuuuu
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
