The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
