so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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