How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
