Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
