Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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