Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
