He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
