i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Randomize
