whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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