OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
