when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
