I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize