some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
