nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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