Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
My balls are so social today.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
