he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
