I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
