Screwed.edu
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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