So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
