i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
