So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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