thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
