dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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