sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
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Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
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Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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