I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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