Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
