Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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