idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
