now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
