I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
