That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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