apparently the secret to your success is patron
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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