the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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