Your mouth is God's brothel.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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