Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Randomize
