can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I party with great urgency now.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
