No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Randomize
