I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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