that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Let's paint friendship bongs
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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