look no pants
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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