I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
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I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
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Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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