what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
