: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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