He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
