It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
