I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
