I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Of course I have a pirate flag
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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