I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She's the barista slut.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
